December 8


When a new pen arrives in the house
It’s like a new lease of life – and if it isn’t
It should be

December 7


It would have been the sovereignty of, like, the boomerang. Determination was not the same as interference. That’s how we knew. Then the menus were handed out.

December 6


“. . . and the arrival of the vanguard of the bridal guests, prevented further discussion.

‘Her Grace, the Duchess of Valmouth; the Honourable Mrs Manborough of Castle Malling’ – ffines’ voice filled the room.

‘You shall hold Baby, Lieutenant, while I – ’ Mrs. Hurstpierpoint flapped expressively her loose-winged sleeves.

‘Sir William West-Wind, Mr Peter Caroon, Mrs Trotter-Stormer, Sir Wroth and Lady Cleobulina Summer-Leyton, Sir Victor Vatt, Master Xavier Tanoski, Lady Lucy Saunter, Miss à Duarté, Miss Roxall, Lady Jane Congress, Lady Constance Cadence-Stewart, Mrs. Q. Comedy, Lady Lauraguay, Lady Lukin de Lukin, Mrs Lumlum, Mr Argrove, Mrs Lositer, General George Obliveon, Lady Parvula de Panzoust.'”

                                    – Ronald Firbank, from Valmouth, Chapter 11

December 5


“‘Congratulations’, his voice pealed out, ‘to Peggy Laugher, Ann and Zillah Bottom, Almeria Goatpath, Thisbe Brownjohn, Teresa Twistleton, Rebecca Bramblebrook, Junie Jones, Susannah Sneep, Peter Palafox, Flo Flook, Simon Toole, Molly Ark, Nellie Knight, Fanny Beard, May Thatcher, May Heaven, George Kissington, Tircis Tree, Gerry Bosboom, Gilbert Soham, Lily Quickstep, Doris Country, Anna Clootz, Mary Teeworthy, Dorothy Tooke, Patrick Flynn, Rosa Sweet, Laurette Venum, Violet Ebbing, Horace Hardly, Mary Wilks – ’”

                                    – Ronald Firbank, from Valmouth, Chapter 8

December 4


It’s easier sad than fun –
When you have shrunk it all down –
Taking disadvantage from the offer –
Followed by a second fraught –

December 3


We are currently auditioning for our team of Spring Dancers –
Please bring your own spring.

December 2


Unwilling to attempt an escape for fear of arriving somewhere less desirable we settled down to another dish of beans, beans, and more beans.

December 1


“The river will take you home / And I will remain here / Remembering”

November 30


I had been in hiding all night
but self-discovery was not far away,
or so it seems in retrospect

November 29


The contest having been declared null and void
We decided to eat the pies rather than let them go to waste.