January 1


‘One Million Elephants Couldn’t Begin To Understand’ is now CLOSED

(January 1, 2009 revisited)

One million elephants couldn’t begin to understand how I feel
But a single gazelle possesses elegance style and bounce
Newly-born birds understand flight but have never flown
And to fly into the unknown is more interesting than to sleep in safety
A dodo on the wing in winter sunlight means you are dreaming
Where not even the purring of evening birds disturbs the cucumber field


December 31


The elephants are leaving, and waving ‘bye-bye’. What remains is their footprints in the mud.

December 30


The elephants take a look around to see if there is anything they have forgotten. Then they sit down to a last supper: what do elephants eat? (Look it up.)

December 29


In the early hours of morning and in the late hours of evening and in all the hours between the elephants are packing their trunks.

December 28


Your eyes remain.
Dear Plummy, your eyes remain.
When nothing else remains, your eyes remain.

December 27



— Do you remember when?
— Probably not. I forget so much these days.
— I think it’s the future that matters, not the past.
— You know you don’t really mean that.
— Don’t really mean what?

December 26



— It’s times like this I wish we had a television.
— You know you don’t really mean that.

December 25



— Oh! A signed photograph of the Poet Laureate!
— Yes. I like to add a touch of irony to my gift giving.
— I hope it didn’t cost you lots.
— I found it in the alley behind Lux Massage. There was a whole box of them.
— Come on! Open yours!
— Oh! A signed photograph of the Poet Laureate . . .
— Anything you can do I can do the same.
— Have you been going to Lux Massage too?
— Once or thrice. It’s been a difficult year. And any port in a storm . . .

December 24


Let’s talk sport! How come we never talk sport!? It’s always brainy stuff like philosophy and linguistics, and we never talk sport! Hockey! Lacrosse! The bouncy beauty of the trampoline!

December 23


In the reign of King Fastidious IX people were forced to be very picky, about punctuation.