It has always been one of my ambitions to have an ambition.
from Flirts in Skirts
Scene: the alleyway behind a chap’s eyes
Bud: You look awfully smart today. Is that a clean t-shirt?
Jed: I am meeting Betty’s friend Coco. I want to make a good impression.
Bud: I take it Coco is a girl.
Jed: Betty says she is already mine, all I have to do is show up and she will direct me to her secret love buttons.
Bud: Love buttons are the invention of Satan. He invented them as part of his scheme for making things easy for people without imagination.
Jed: They are genius.
Bud. You are a hollowed man.
I am awake all night full of puzzlement and listening to my own collisions and so afraid nobody else cares or understands but this is the condition of almost everybody it says here in the latest edition of WHICH WORRY? but I am beautiful and I am smart and one day I shall marry the person God has made for me.
the rhubarb question is not really
the most important thing on my mind, the world is
such a cruel place is not really it either though occasionally
that proposition flutters into my lobby although the words
are not in that order
(a such cruel place the world is)
Is rhubarb a fruit or a vegetable? This question
and many others like it (What’s the difference between
hope and optimism? How many times do I need to
explain what I mean by I think not? Is this dress
really saying what I want it to say?) has kept me awake
You are asleep I am awake you are afloat I am aghast you are amazed I am appalled you are allowed I am allured you are alright I am not.
Watch what happens when we don’t care what happens. I have been misunderstood so many times. The elephants are the only people who have not misread the situation. Oh, and the plum. You must not forget the plum, whose presence is salvation.
from Flirts in Skirts
Scene: the laundry basket next to a fellow’s elbow room
Bud: You called out Betty’s name in your sleep last night.
Jed: She is the girl of my dreams.
Bud: Then you called out Lorraine’s name.
Jed: She is the girl of my dreams too.
Bud: Then you called out Shirley and Mabel and Doreen and another one that was muffled so I couldn’t make it out.
Jed: They are the girls of my dreams, even when they are muffled. Sometimes the muffled ones are the best.
Bud: Dreams are the invention of Satan. He invented them when he found that God had made sleep so we could hide from the darkness of night. And then he put girls into them as an extra dose of evil.
Jed: Well, I never seem able to get enough sleep.
Bud: You are a man exclamation mark.