LETTERS TO THE EDITOR
I am conducting research for a book I am writing which exposes the corruption, nepotism, and general miserable state of British poetry since 1966, when we won the World Cup thanks to the lads from West Ham. I wonder if you could give me the addresses of all the British poets you know. I hereby undertake not to visit them where they live and hurl abuse at them from the street until the police arrive to take me away.
Alfred Christine Charlemagne