I am hoping you will be able to settle a dispute that has rendered our family dining experience unsettling, to put it mildly. I maintain that the predominant metrical pattern of contemporary British poetry is the Alexandrian-Petrarchan-Caesarean pentameter with an occasional sprinkling of Herculean-cum-Poirotean dactylic right shoe. Lady Ipswich Borough Council contends that it is a Shakespearian-Miltonic hybrid moderated by a constrained enjambment and a deft use of the trochee when it is convenient. The situation is confused by the opinion of Miguel, our butler, who when asked for his opinion suggested that British poets did not really understand any metre more complex than the iambic foot.

Lord Ipswich de Pointless etc.

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